self-esteem and the things I think

  praying for all the people who have been affected by all the flooding and chaos this rain has brought upon us

years have gone by and all that I know my life looking back is  all just a blur remember the good times I can't recall all that comes up is the withdraw the feeling of pain sweats and all but once the fix came I can't remember at all what did I do what did I say a blur of regret that still haunts me to this day looking for peace I guess you could say I never found that while playing this game pain and betrayal  money and thieves I've got what you need  says Satan indeed barrow and beg  steal and plead this chaos is thick  I'm unable to see  a way out is tough a way out is free finding an exit  was not easy  one tries  then two  three tries then four  I did a little time  now my feet are on the floor the bottom feels low but the faith will insure follow your light  and there's your door one month  then two keep pushing fourth looking back now  two years are restored a baby was born  and I can remember it all...

 I lay my head, on cotton pillows, with nice thread the day has been long, but far from over yet my life is full, and how I feel blessed, but no matter how good, my thoughts never rest when my hands are busy, my mind is at rest, during the day, I feel more like the next panic seeps in, as the night starts to progress the thoughts arise, reminiscing my past the kids are asleep, it's my turn to try I lay on down, with heavy eyes those thoughts that I think, creep up every time my heart begins to race, my thoughts are in real time my emotions feel, as they did the first time, that burst of energy, not the good kind turns me nocturnal, as I fight my mind avoiding my thoughts, with all of my might I'm too far from strong, and they win every time shaking my head, and speaking out loud God please no, I can't do this right now how my past, stays so vivid in time reliving the same pain, every night I pray, I hide, I do everything right no matter how fast I run, I can't keep away...

  I drew these, I know that they are not the best pictures ever created but I'd love to continue drawing to become all i potentially could be 

 mamas what are we doing for easter pictures when they are bigger last year he couldn't walk so keeping him still was much easier I would love all the tips from the mamas out there

 I took my toddler with me to Wendys today so I could fill out a job application and also, he needed something to eat for lunch so why not. I got him a chicken nugget kids meal and that's his favorite. I sat him next to me as I filled out a paper application, and I'm so excited to be able to say I filled out a paper application, I thought those were extinct. anyhow, I was filling out the application and things were going well he was eating his food and all of a sudden, he started screaming bloody murder, I thought something was seriously wrong with him. I examine him quickly looking in his mouth and all around because he was clearly in pain. well, I find myself face to face with a little finger that was all red and indented with his tiny little tooth mark, my poor guy accidently bit his own finger while trying to eat his chicky nugget. oh how a moms heart fills with empathy for our littles when we know they are experiencing life lessons and knowing how they don't understand...